just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A+ Viking dick
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