WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
