we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
