He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
