I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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