This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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