If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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