So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
