i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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