I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Say something about gay babies.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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