He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
