i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
