i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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