Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
