How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
