this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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