Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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