end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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