Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you never un-have a 4some
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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