Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
