Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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