it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
