I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
