Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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