gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
