i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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