We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
