Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We were destined to go to rehab together
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
