who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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