so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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