I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
