Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
