i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
