Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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