I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
