he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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