You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
