how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
