I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
