I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
