Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
its not stalking. its research.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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