none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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