I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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