i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
