I think scott just propositioned me for sex
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
time to smoke my breakfast
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
