He uses pillows to masturbate.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
