dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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