I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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