I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
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they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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