I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
