That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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