So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
