4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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