dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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