David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
