all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
