what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
