i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
