i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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