On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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