if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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