i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
